December 26, 2008 - Coi

Coi in the Financial District/Tenderloin in San Francisco, CA
http://coirestaurant.com/ - Yelp

Over Christmas we went to visit Kuau's family (that is, mom) in the Bay Area. Even though he grew up there, Kuau hadn't been to any of the super-nice restaurants, so on the advice of a friend we went to Coi for their 12-course tasting menu. Neither of us had ever had that many courses for one meal in our lives, so we weren't quite sure what to expect. It ended up being a 3-hour meal (somehow shorter than our meal at Elements) with tiny, carefully crafted presentations that ended up blending together quite ... well, magnificently, to be quite honest.

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Not that it seemed that way at first. We were very skeptical over the first several courses, and this opener in particular amused us (ha, plus it was an amuse bouche ... get it ... never mind). I think it was described as something like a "honey milk ball" and was about the size of my pinky nail, or smaller. Of course, the spoons look pretty awesome. Anyway, I wasn't a huge fan of the taste (milk at 7PM is a little weird), but I do remember appreciating how cool it was that this little ball of milk somehow maintained its shape and then burst on your tongue.

Our second "course" was pretty amusing as well. Actually, I don't remotely remember what was in the bowl. Kuau tells me it had something to do with grapefruit, but he may very well be making that up. The real star was that tiny dot of liquid to the right of the bowl. That, my friends, is a sample of Coi's "fragrance." These "fragrances" are essentially perfumes that you can add to your meal -- they will generously pair them appropriately with each course for an addition of only $50. We found this hysterical, and also quite a rip-off.


This course was entitled "shiny beets." I don't remember much about these. I can attest to their shininess, though.

I should interject that, though I'm probably going to continue making fun of Coi's attitude and semi-pretentious presentation quite a bit, we actually enjoyed it as well. Not only did it provide us with amusement throughout the night, it was actually a pretty nice atmosphere and we couldn't help but appreciate the effort that was put into every small detail. There were always two waiters to carry our two dishes at the table, and whatever excessive flourish they added, like pulling off a cover or pouring some sauce on top, they did simultaneously.

After that, the meal became a little bit more substantial. There were multiple choices for the upcoming courses, and we'd asked for one of each option. We were presented with this cheese tart and salad, as well as an "oyster under glass." The cheese tart was an interesting texture -- it was sort of like a large ball of melted cheese with a little bit of crust to support it. I'm not a huge fan of raw oysters, so I let Kuau eat most of that one. The glass seemed to be made of something gelatinous and largely tasteless, but it certainly added to the look of the dish.

The following pair of dishes consisted of crab (I think ...) and a salad. I, being a hater of vegetables, thought the crab was clearly superior. I don't remember any of the more refined points, but it tasted like a bunch of well-flavored shredded crab -- what's not to like? Kuau, on the other hand, liked the salad, which tasted like earth. I don't mean it tasted earthy, I mean, it actually tasted like you were eating the earth, a.k.a. dirt. Kuau agrees with this, and yet claims that it was a really good earth taste, or something along those lines. So, it is quite possible that the salad was good, as long as you like dirt, which puts you in the same category as Kuau.

At some point in these first several courses, we were also served a pomegranate-butternut squash soup. They brought out large bowls, but when they placed them in front of us, we couldn't help but notice that there were about four pomegranate seeds and a couple of sprigs of green in them -- not the most substantial looking. Then, with a (synchronized) flourish, two waiters poured little carafes of butternut squash soup on top of the fixin's that were already in the bowl. They encouraged us to mix the soup so that the flavors blended (to which we both silently thought, "Isn't mixing the soup kind of the chef's job?"). Again, though I tease, it did actually make for a nice presentation, and the soup itself was excellent. The pomegranate was a nice tart contrast to the creamy sweetness of the soup.

I don't think there was any question about which of the next courses was superior. There was some seafood item -- I think a mussel, but I'm not sure, because it would be a weird-shaped mussel -- and then there was ... a mushroom. My main thought about this course was that I had no idea why anyone would possibly choose a single mushroom over something that actually had some meat in it.



These items, which I suppose could be considered our "main course," were actually a surprise. The one on the left in the bowl was an egg, with some elaborate description no doubt, and on the right is a picture of steak with accompanying bone marrow. Again, we thought this was a no-brainer and that the steak would be better. We were wrong. I do not know how they cooked that egg, but it was amazing. It had a foamy texture and an incredible taste that I can't describe, but it is literally making my mouth water to think of it. The steak, on the other hand, was pretty unremarkable, and the bone marrow (that white log, which now strikes me as strange as I'm pretty sure bone marrow is usually red) was tasteless and had a gross, spongy texture. Then again, in the face of that egg, anything else would have lost spectacularly.

Following the major portion of the meal, they served us a piece of cheese and another little salad, as a little bit of a palate cleanser before we got to dessert.








This wasn't technically a course, but I had to include this poor and blurry picture of it because it was another amazing little detail that really added to the experience. This was their homemade grapefruit soda. That's it. But the soda tasted so ridiculously good that we thought about embarrassing ourselves and asking for more, or perhaps even a bottle that we could buy to take home.







I was a big fan of both of the desserts. One of them was the standard molten chocolate cake with a scoop of ice cream. It was very well executed, but not really too different from any other molten chocolate cake that you can get at any other nice restaurant. I don't remember what the other dessert was -- likely something fruity, with cream on top -- but I really loved it, and I thought about asking for a second one of those as well, even though at this point I was certainly full.

The nice thing was that even though it was a huge number of courses, neither of us were disgustingly full when the meal was over, just very satisfied and pleasantly satiated. They brought out this elaborate setup when I ordered a cup of coffee, which kind of represents the entire experience. The service was a bit over-the-top with its well-practiced synchronicity, but they were extremely attentive, and we merely had to look up for two or three waiters to be immediately available if we wanted them. And the food, though it could be a little fussy, was prepared with a lot of thought and creativity. Even though there were dishes that we didn't particularly enjoy, we could still appreciate how unique and interesting every item was.